HOW LONG WILL HE STAY?


I have been having
sleepless nights,
often wondering
about us.

My greatest concern
right now is
how long
will he stay.

Anxiety ridden,
too confused,
I often drive him
to the end of the cliff.

Our fights seem endless.
Love in moments, few.
I question the time
I said yes to him.

In the silences in between,
I cry.
Hoping that he stays
for me.

I don't have the strength
to get over this heartbreak.
He is the one for me,
he is just too precious.

DID YOU EVER LOVE ME?


You got the freedom to walk out.
But before you leave,
say goodbye.

Plus I want to know
if you ever loved me,
if I could have ever been The One.

Answers could help
as years later I might remember you
in fond memories.

We had something magical,
but our stars weren't strong.

They fell to pieces
with the touch of love
and fears of our past.

WHY THE HIDE AND SEEK?


A look at your face
melts all my worries away.
When I am not with you,
little do I know where I belong.

You make me feel safe
in a world that makes me anxious.
And yet I find myself
playing a game of cat and mouse.

I am worried of losing you
while I am still discovering you.
I do stupid things,
unsure of myself.

It breaks my heart.
You alone manage to bring out
the best and the worst
in me.

I am lost
in a whirlpool of emotions.
Feeling things I never imagined,
rising to heights I couldn't see.

Why the hide and seek, I fathom.
These things are draining me out.
But your loves a challenge
and I am badly addicted.

MR. GRUMPY COMPLAINS - A LOVE POEM


Mr. Grumpy complains
about many things.
He wonders why I hide,
he wants to be included.
But I try to ignore.

How can I tell him,
I get goosebumps every time
he catches my soft hands
and slowly rubs it
on his rough cheeks.

Mr. Grumpy complains
about his eyesight.
But oh! He looks so sexy
in his geeky specs.
If only I could confess.

How can I tell him,
I feel so safe
when I get to hide my face
in his warm chest.
Nothing else comes closer.

Mr. Grumpy complains
and complains.
He is finicky, but straightforward,
often misunderstood.
The nut that he is.

How can I say that
I am slowly getting addicted
to him, his grumpiness
and all the other quirks he has.
But that I am scared too.

THERE IS TOO MUCH NOISE - A POEM ON INNER STRUGGLE


There is too much noise outside.
I am not sure if,
I want to go out and play.

People think otherwise.
Push me towards things
I don't like.

When I ask for some privacy,
they scream and shout.
As if I was doing something wrong.

It's complicated, I say.
I am the fire that could ignite
your soul.

And the water
needed to sustain life.
I can't be defined by words.

Sometimes, in all the chaos,
I like gazing at the sky
full of shining stars.

Occasionally, I lose myself
in the crowd.
Enjoying the euphoria.

There is too much noise outside.
It's beyond my comfort zone,
But ultimately, my road to redemption.

LONG RIDE... AND WE FIGHT


Long ride... and we fight,
For the guy with the cute smile has opinions and doubts,
But he doesn't know,
he has a friend, who is vintage crazy.

Long ride... and we fight,
Because life is such.
We are each searching for something
and we don't realise that the answer lies within.

Long ride... and we fight,
Sometimes with others,
Sometimes with ourselves
and yet we survive.

Long ride... and we fight,
Because too often in life that's what adds spice.

A POEM ON SELF-DOUBT


I have had my bouts of insecurity, anxiety, anger
and the likes.
And often it stems from
self doubt and a
low self esteem.

In the beginning,
I used to be just restless.
Then the aggression grew.
And I fought and I punched.
The worst affected
were my family and friends.

I tried yoga and then
meditation.
And slowly I had my
enlightenment.
Books, read books,
a yogi said.

So I picked up a few.
At the start,
nothing helped.
Then from a shelf,
I picked up a psychology one.
One book led to another.

Slowly, I put the pieces
together.
Doubts can be killers,
often others put them in you.
Mostly, you believe them
and treat yourself worse.

It's a constant fight inside.
Sometimes I win, but
at times I am lost in the games.
There is one thing for sure, I know.
Love and compassion
will help me through.

I MUST BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG


I must be doing something wrong,
I don't know why, but he keeps slipping away,
And though my attempts are genuine,
This bugger has no care for my heart.

Often he befriends,
Then promises the sun and moon,
But slowly he starts to behave weirdly,
And soon, he is ready to run.

My oh My! It's the same story every time.
I have never felt lonelier than in his company.
He belittles me,
And I want to punch him, if only.

This love is a cowardly fellow,
He just makes excuses.
And I each time, give my 100%,
Not doubting him at all.

But now I am growing up wise,
The only thing I am doing wrong is,
doubting myself
and searching for love outside.

THE CALLS STOPPED COMING


Each year, by default, 12 am
I used to get the calls
of friends and family
all joining in my celebration.

Each year it was the highlight.
But this time it was different.
I cut the cake, danced a bit,
but not a single call came through.

I ate the dessert, skipped the wine, my brother said, it was alright.
I felt hurt,
but hid my disappointment well.

All the earlier times, flashed by.
With it memories of the moments
I had called up my friends.
I wondered if I had done something wrong.

Then I checked my WhatsApp and Facebook,
people were wishing like crazy.
My mornings were full and the day went by,
people wished and I cried.

I curse this social media,
It had made people
more accessible,
but less connected in person.

But then you realise that
thanks to it, you know the truth.
The people who really love you
will always call you.

I now have a few friends in my life,
the ones who really cared and stood the times of despair.
Because, I started seeing more clearly the day the calls stopped coming.

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