Have you met our good man, Hooch?
He walks with a stick up his bum,
Yet cool as a cucumber,
He will save the day.

For the town's folk he is the hero,
With every mother and daughter taking only his name,
Hooch sure is a charmer.
Even the boys find him hard to resist.

He huffs and puffs behind closed doors,
Says he is inventing the best time machine anyone has ever seen.
And while to you that may sound insane,
Don't you ever go about the town saying it out aloud.

Because if you do, mark my words.
First he will laugh and then blame you for being the problem.
And then slowly and steadily the townsfolk will turn on you,
While he will quite confidently retreat to his house.

And days and years later,
You will question yourself.
And wonder whether you were at fault.
And the answer to that, sadly you shall never know.

So, let me save you from all that wrath.
If you see a man,
walking as if there was a stick up his bum.
Smile, nod and walk away from my dear friend, good man, Hooch. 

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